supermarket bananas

Supermarket shopping

I hate going to the supermarket. It is second in the ranking of “top ways to waste my time” right after “trying to talk to an actual human being at BT”.

Some people seem to enjoy it. They spend endless hours cruising through the isles, picking up different toilet paper variants off the shelves and comparing them, as if they where deciding between two pairs of designer clothes. They are in no apparent rush to finish and leave. They don’t seem bothered about the queues at the tilt.  They even socialise at the supermarket café and come in to read their newspapers there. I mean, really?!?

I find groceries and other home basics shopping pointless, dull and repetitive; no value adding. I freeze my butt off in there and struggle to navigate my trolley without ramming it into peoples´ ankles. I find everybody who works at the checkout slow and unfriendly and get upset when I always have to go to the very, very end of the car park to find a free space.

But unfortunately I am in charge of this chore at home, otherwise my family would starve pretty quickly (3 male human beings need feeding). See: the advantage of being in your 20s is that you can live on mac&cheese for a number of days without feeling guilty. When you are (almost 40) and have to feed your underage dependents, this changes and you feel obliged to offer nutritious, healthy dinner choices daily. Well … except Sunday evening which we have declared Pizza Night.

I try to physically go to the supermarket as infrequently as possible, but somehow I end up doing it at least two times a week, EVEN if I have put in an online home delivery. There is always something that I forgot, something fresh that can only be bought from one day to the next or an emergency supply that needs purchasing.

I have tried to optimise my visits and avoid rush hour and weekends altogether. But even if I go on a Monday morning when there is literally no one around, it takes me a total of 40 min to complete the endeavour! That is 10 min in the car each way and 20 min inside no matter how fast I sprint through the isles with a pre-prepared shopping list that includes all necessary items sorted in order of how you walk through the place. No time wasted going back and forth, military precision as I do all the scanning and bagging myself at the checkout.

Still, that twice a week amounts to 80 min per week or 320 min per month or more than 2.5 days per year. At (almost 40) I really don’t have the desire to spend 10 FULL DAYS at the supermarket in the next 4 years!

I wonder how, in the 21st century, they have not managed to get fridges to stock up automatically, when you are running low on things. Considering the amount of other useless apps on the market that promise to make your life easier, they should really give this one a shot. I would be their first customer!

In the meantime Amazon´s recent news that they are moving into food retailing makes me wonder if in 10 years time, at (almost) 50 I could get my tomatoes and steaks home delivered by drones.

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